Tag: grouchy

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  A Grouch's Guide to Life: Contemplating Aesop By grouchy Carmichael   Aesop's Fable: “The Fox and The Grapes” A hungry fox saw some fine bunches of grapes hanging from a vine that was trained along a high trellis and did his best to reach them by jumping as high as he could into the air. But it was all in vain, for they were just out... Read More

Guys, so you are at a singles bar and the woman you are talking to just LOVES the cologne you are wearing.    So you start dating and the first gift she buys you is a different brand of cologne. Why? Because she realizes the cologne you WERE wearing was probably given to you by an ex-girlfriend.   This is called "Marking Her Territory"... yes, just like a dog pissing on the tree. Only this time, you are the tree.   Here is where the hypocrisy comes in:   The cologne... Read More

As you can tell from my photo, I smoke cigarettes.  People ask me all the time "Why do you smoke? It's a nasty habit. It is so expensive."   It might be a nasty habit, but it is not expensive.   My packs cost me around $5 each. At work, I get paid $15 an hour. I take a 5 minute smoke break every hour. That is 40 minutes of breaks a day. At $15 an hour, 40 minutes costs my boss around $8.   So there, I just made $3 profit.  I am literally getting paid to smoke a pack a... Read More

I have invented a new device. It is a Florida license plate that says: GROUCHY1 and I can install it on your bumper. When you about to go through a red light, you push a button and this plate slides down over your existing plate, so the camera reads "GROUCHY1" instead of your plate number.  Then, seconds later, it slides back up on it's own.   Only $158! The price of 1 of these bogus tickets! Run Red Lights ALL DAY! How much fun would that be?   Buy yours today! But that's... Read More